ALOLAN PERSIAN THE JERK: TEAM SKULL
by MYHEARTFEELSDEADINSIDE
Summary: ALOLAN PERSIAN THE JERK: TEAM SKULL


**ALOLAN PERSIAN THE JERK: TEAM SKULL  
**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** NO. I MIGHT ACCIDENTALLY RUIN THEM. SORRY. WHAT HAVE I DONE. REGRET. PAIN.

* * *

One day in Pokemon world, Guzma was busy gathering garbage from a nearby dumpster to feed his new pokemon, Alolan Persian. "ALOLAN PERSIAN IS GONNA LOVE THIS FUCKING FOOD." he grinned while walking back inside his Team Skull club house. "COOL CAT, UH UH!"

Alolan Persian was busy sleeping in its box bed thing when Guzma's noises interrupted its sleep. "WHAT THE FUCK." Alolan Persian screeched, opening its eyes to find Guzma shoving a food bowl into its face. "WHAT IS THIS LITERAL FUCKING ALOLAN RATICATE SHIT?" screeched the classy cat pokemon. "BITCH. IT SMELLS LIKE YOUR ASS."

"It's your breakfast!" leered Guzma, "I GOT IT FROM THE DUMPSTER WHERE YOUR DEAD MOM'S FUCKING CORPSE RESIDES, HA HA!"

Alolan Persian sat up and urinated outside its bed box thing. Guzma screamed loudly and accidentally dropped the food bowl, spilling its contents all over the floor creating a massive mess and staining his clothes. "ALOLAN PERSIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" the skull boy shouted, "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU FUCKING PISS ON MY TABLE? I JUST WAXED THAT!"

"TO GIVE YOU BACK YOUR FUCKING FACE." yelled Alolan Persian, "SHOVE YOUR HEAD ONTO MY PISS TO UNITE YOUR FUCKING PISSFACE BACK ONTO YOUR SKULL, TEAMPISSFUCKINGFACE."

Guzma yelled various obscenities towards the ceiling while simultaneously crying.

Suddenly a grunt walked into the room. "Hey boss!"

"FUCK THE FUCK HELL OFF!" screeched Guzma absolutely horrified at the classy cat pokemon's chaos. "CAN'T YOU FUCKING SEE THAT MY CLOTHES AND TABLE ARE RUINED?! I''M GOING TO FUCKING DIE NOW!"

"Okay-dokey, boss." responded the grunt as it made a u-turn.

Alolan Persian stepped out of the bed box thing and hopped off the table. "I need me some fucking food." it said as it walked over to the fridge. It opened the door only to find a bunch of _Hot Topic_ merchandise. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT?! WHAT DO YOU FUCKERS EVEN EAT AROUND HERE?"

"HEY!" gasped Guzma, "SHUT UP! THAT IS ART! DON'T TOUCH THAT!"

"UP YOUR ASS WITH BROKEN GLASS!" growled Alolan Persian as it grabbed an _Alice in Wonderland_ t-shirt and a CD of _My Chemical Romance_ to begin consuming them, "Gawd, fuck this disgusting shit, why does it taste so fucking bad."

"FUCKING STOP CONSUMING MY SHIT!"

"OH WHAT. THESE ITEMS ARE THINGS YOU LITERALLY CRAPPED OUT YOUR RANCID ASS?"

"WHY THE FUCK DID I EVEN STEAL YOU FROM THAT KID? I THOUGHT YOU WOULD FUCKING BE A BAD ASS CLASSY COOL CAT! I SHOULD HAVE SHOVED YOU UP PROFESSOR KUKUI'S ASS WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!"

"BITCH. NO. I STOLE **YOU**." Alolan Persian shoved more _Hot Topic_ merchandise into its mouth and pounced on over to the skull boy pulling down his pants to shove _Mad Hatter_ items into his rear.

"WHAT THE FUCK" screeched Guzma, "THIS IS HARASSMENT!"

Gladion walked into the room after hearing the commotion and remained motionless at witnessing his boss with his pants pulled down. "Uh... what the fuck is even... going on?" he struggled to state, "Should... I even provide any fucks for this unfortunate situation?"

"WHAT, YOU WANT TO SHOVE SOMETHING UP MY ASS TOO?" cried Guzma as he reached over for the food bowl that he spilled earlier throwing it over at the young man, splattering the 'food' all over his face. "EAT THE FUCK UP!"

"Oh joy."

The front door opened and Plumeria walked in carrying bags of groceries. "I had such a busy day buying food to feed you all to make sure you get those vital nutrients- " she witnessed the disturbing sight and noise within the Team Skull club causing her to drop everything and immediately exit the house. "Nope."

She accidentally left the door wide open and an Alolan Meowth entered the house. "HEY EVERYONE!" it shouted proudly, "IT'S THE WORLD'S CUTEST KITTY!"

Alolan Persian abruptly stopped what it was doing and stormed over towards the scratch cat pokemon. "BITCH. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"VISTING MY FAVORITE-" it was suddenly shoved into a box.

"BITCH." shouted Alolan Persian while taping up the box. "SEE YOU IN HELL." It wrote on the box 'to Australia aka HELL.'

Meanwhile, Gladion stood annoyed as the food bowl's contents dripped off him spilling onto floor and he sighed. "Can I just... go now?"

Guzma scowled. "NO."

Suddenly the entire Team Skull club house collapsed as Ash Ketchum threw the dumpster from earlier onto the roof. "LEAVE ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS FUCKING GAME AGAIN, WILL YA? BURN IN HELL!" The entire club house was in ruins.

"Yo-You know what..." stated Guzma from beneath the rubble, "ju-just go."

"Okay."

"Bring me some _Mcdonalds_."

"No."

 **THE END.**  
OR IS IT.  
REVIEWS, PLZ.


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